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Drumpfster Fire Misinformation
This page is a compilation of Fark threads related to the dumpster fire that is the worthless advisors to the 45th President of the United States of America. This page is for the current month, ' ' '' To view previous months, check out the archive =Dear Leader= The Show Is ‘Trump’ ''And it is sold-out performances everywhere I Know Words, I Have The Best Words There's Nobody's Bigger Or Better At The Military Than I Am I Like The Fact That You All Voted For Me I Have A Very Good Brain My primary consultant is myself Make America Great Again We Had A Massive Landslide Victory # Lots of people showed up for "March 4 Trump" rallies across the country, if you count maybe 150 people total as a lot of people I Won The Popular Vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally I Think Has Done Really A Great Job Of Outsmarting Our Country I Will Tell You This, Russia: If You’re Listening ... The Beauty Of Me Is That I’m Very Rich Trust Me. I’m Like A Smart Person I Am Fortunate To Have Been Blessed With Great Genes Obama Had My "Wires Tapped" We Love ‘The Art Of The Deal’ but the Bible is far, far superior People Who Are Following Me Are Very Passionate There Was Blood Coming Out Of Her Eyes. Blood Coming Out Of Her—Wherever I Will Be The Greatest Jobs President that God ever created Drumpf Unequivocally, Will Be The Healthiest Individual Ever Elected To The Presidency We See A Lot Of Money Pouring In From Russia =Faithful= I Love The Poorly Educated To see all the ways Drumpf supporters are stupid and how they got that way, please click here Ministry of Misinformation To view Fark threads featuring the misinformation purveyors who keep the poorly educated infromed, please click here It's Totes Okay When We Do It I'll Choose The Best People For My Administration Overzealous Staffer(s) Commissars Steve Bannon best, most helpful advisor Ivanka Trump Jared Kushner Donald Trump, Jr. America's Uday Sean Spicer White House Press Secretary Kellyanne Conway Counselor to the President Sarah Huckabee Sanders Deputy White House spokesmodel Mike Pence "Vice" President Roger Stone Top. Advisor. Michael Cohen President's personal lawyer Reince Priebus Chief of Staff Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III Attorney General Department of Justice Department of Veterans Affairs EPA Environmental Protection Agency Steve Mnuchin Treasury Secretary James Donovan Deputy Treasury Secretary Ben Carson Secretary of Housing and Urban Development FCC Federal Communications Commission John F. Kelly Secretary of Department of Homeland Security Scott Pruitt Director of the Environmental Protection Agency Paul Manafort Mick Mulvaney ''Director of OMB Boris Epshteyn Commissar for Media Relations Neil Gorsuch SCOTUS nominee Carter Page American oil industry consultant, foreign policy advisor Michael Flynn former National Security advisor James Comey Director of the FBI FBI Federal Bureau of Investigation Army General Joseph Votel commander, U.S. Central Command Betsy DeVos Secretary of Education OMB Office of Management & Budget Tom Price Secretary of Health and Human Services NOAA National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Silicon Valley Entreprenuers James Mattis Secretary of Defense Richard Spencer Special Whiteness Assistant to the President Steve Milloy advisor, Trump EPA transition team, whore George Conway Nominee for director, Department of Justice, Civil Division Frank Gaffney director, Center for Security Policy, his own tiny think tank Department of Homeland Security Secret Service Rex Tillerson Secretary of State State Deptartment Tom Shannon Undersecretary of State Nikki Haley US Ambassador to the United Nations Spineless Democrats # Senator Dick Durbin (D IL) Minority Whip # Senator Chuck Schumer (D NY) Minority Leader # Senator Jon Tester (D MT) # Senator Claire McCaskill (D-MO) # Senator Heidi Heitkamp (D ND) # Senator Joe Manchin (D WV) State-level Agency that Feds Duplicate therefore, fed budget cut is justified # GHSA Governors Highway Safety Association Private Company that Feds Duplicate therefore, fed budget cut is justified # Tech Billionaires Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos Independent Contractors # House Ways and Means Committee # Rep. Jason Smith (R MO 8th) # Senator Ted Cruz (R TX) # Rep. Paul Ryan (R WI 1st) # Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R UT 3rd) # Rep Steve King (R IA 4th) # Joe Arpaio former Maricopa County Sheriff # Rep. Devin Nunes (R CA 22nd) chair, House Intelligence Committee # Governor Chris Christie (R NJ) # Rep. Joe "The Oil Gargler" Barton (R TX 6th) # the state of Texas # Senator Mike Crapo (R ID) # Rep. Jeff Duncan (R SC 3rd) # Senator Jeff Flake (R AZ) # Rep. Dave Brat (R VA 7th) # Governor Asa Hutchinson (R AR) # Senator Marco Rubio (R FL) # Florida state legislature # Rep. Chris Collins (R NY 27th) # Rep. Trey Gowdy (R DC 4th) # state Senator Gerald Allen (R, AL, 21st) # Texas state Senate # Senator Pat Roberts (R KS) # Judge Anthony Trenga United States District Court, Eastern District of Virginia # Senator Lindsay Graham (R SC) # Governor Gary Herbert (R UT) # Senator Mitch McConnell (R KY) Senate Majority Leader # certain GOP Senators # Rep. Jodey Arrington (R TX 19th) # the Koch Brothers # Mayor Roger Claar (R, Bolingbrook, IL) # Verizon =The Enemy= Such A Nasty Woman Hillary Clinton We Don't Want Them In Our Country Valerie Jarrett # May we present: Trump's proof of the wire tapp. And you know he'd tapp that # Unknown Leaker # Samuel L. Jackson # Senators push to force Southern White House to obey regular White House open records laws # Fmr. NSA analyst: Intel sources say White House 'targeting journalists' with 'help from Russian intel' - Nothing to see here, move along comrade # NPR political reporters Sen. Franken Rep. Maxine Waters # American Society of Civil Engineers Jimmy Carter Obama Majority of Americans polled Foreign cartoonists # "We're protesting injustice for the greater good, man." "You sure about that, hippie?" # Fast For Trump Witchcraft Keith Hall CBO director # Meh, we didn't need those Afghans who helped U.S. forces despite risk to life and limb anyways # American Medical Association # Penguin Random House # Golf vandals # People with cameras in their phones # John Oliver # University of Delaware # Biden Institute # Snoop Dogg # Justin Trudeau Canadian Prime Minister # The Internet # Meals on Wheels Owner of Secret Service laptop # Ukraine # The Happiest Hour elitist Manhattan bar # UK Intelligence Chief warns that Russia may have been behind Donald Trump's claim that British intelligence had wiretapped Trump Tower # Trump Administration to boycott UN council over anti-Israel agenda, because the best way to stop something you don't like is to prevent yourself from voting to stop it # John Dean former Nixon White House counsel # Carter Page Who? # American Hospital Association American Medical Association AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) # "Lucy" creator of KittenFeed.com # Brexit # wealthy New Yorkers # Mayor Sadiq Khan (Labour Party, London) # Uncle Joe Biden # Garrison Keillor Minnesota hippie # North Carolina Grower's Association # Cork Wine Bar owners Diane Gross, Khalid Pitts # Senator Boogeywoman (D MA) Elizabeth Warren # Robert Reich former Labor Secretary # Modern Appealing Clothing suing Ivanka Trump for unfair business practices # CREW Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington suing President for violating Emoluments Clause # FSFP Free Speech for People with NYAG suing President for abuse of power # '''CPS Energy' # Jeffrey A. Lovitky failure to comply with financial disclosure law # Lawyers for Good Government # Summer Zervos former TV show contestant # Bernard Marks # Adam McElhaney self-described net neutrality activist # Carly Fiorina former CEO of Hewlett Packard,former 2016 GOP presidential candidate ## # Jean-Claude Juncker president, European Commission ## # Clinton Watt fellow, Foreign Policy Research Institute ## ## # Schools ## I Have My Own Theory On Obama # Barack Obama's politically active post-presidency isn't normal, or good # 122 "vicious" Gitmo detainees released by Obama have gone back to terrorism, tweets the Trump. Give or take 113 who were released by George W. Bush # The latest conspiracy theory from fringe alt-right radio shock jocks? Obama holdovers in government are "committing treason" against Trump to cover up their crimes # Obama books to be published worldwide. First title, "The Last Sane President", is due out in June # SHOCKING CONFESSION: In his own words, Obama admits to wiretapping Trump # Right wing journalists ask the hard questions, like "Why is President Obama spending time in Hawaii?" Because it's not like he's from there or anything ## Reporter quits over Obama conspiracy theory story published by his employer The Media Here Is The Opposition Party # A minute-by-minute breakdown of two hours of this morning's "Fox & Friends" and President Trump's tweets that soon followed and referenced each story almost verbatim # Trump's grandfather once wrote a letter groveling and begging not to be deported # All Things Considered tracked down a fake news site who wrote such headlines as "Chris Christie nominated to Supreme Food Court." and "Sarah Palin Banning Muslims from Entering Bristol Palin." Yes, he's a liberal # Cancer patient calls bullshiat on Samantha Bee's 'half-apology' # Rachel Maddow's dogged reporting may take Trump down, says intrepid columnist who forgets that she is part of the Fake News Complex and as such no one will listen to her # Brookings Institute:"At least 15 million will lose their coverage under the American Health Care Act." Congressional Republicans:"We don't like your negative analysis so we'll make our own. With some spreadsheets or whatever" # Trump's insanity is Rachel Maddow's ratings bonanza. What Donnie, no tweets about liberal shows' bad ratings? Because all those shows now have yuge ratings due to your incompetence? Where are the tweets? # NBC Reporter: "Can we trust that what the President says is real?" Bullshiat Spice: "If he's not joking, of course" # Refined Gentleman that he is, President Trump lets it be known via the Twitter machine that he is distempered, nay, downright appalled, at the rudeness and lack of civility the uncouth media is displaying towards his designated liars # All in one article, we learn Steve Bannon dodged state taxes by pretending to live in Florida; his Breitbart salary; and his ex-wife's drug dealing boyfriend never watched Breaking Bad. Shoulda checked for 'HDPE' on the tub before dissolving a body # Microwave some popcorn (make sure you cover the camera first). Rachel Maddow says she has Trump's tax returns. Tonight at 9PM EDT on MSNBC # Jim Acosta CNN White House Correspondent ## Sean Spicer seemed shocked to hear Jim Acosta say poor people existed; he just thought it was a myth like Star Wars or Hillary Clinton having people murdered # Rachel Maddow MSNBC resident Amazon, news anchor ## And the biggest revelation from President Trump's leaked tax return? He will benefit more than anyone else with his proposed tax plan ### Yesterday on MSNBC Rachel Maddow was Charlie Brown to Donald Trump's Lucy holding the football # Liberals in pursuit of the smoking gun to take down Trump fell for a 1.6 billion dollar hoax ## Maddow: Guys, there's a reason his campaign theme was "You can't always get what you want" ## Rachel Maddow rickrolled her liberal flock, and they love her for it and can't wait for the next benevolent serving of anti-Trump scraps # David Cay Johnston leaked Trump's 2005 tax returns ## "I know we at MSNBC done goofed. But hey, its real, so at least we got that going for us" ### Is MSNBC lackey Rachel Maddow in legal trouble for publishing Trump's tax return? Probably not but she should be # Facebook ## Facebook is marking InfoWars links as "spam", regardless of whether Alex Jones appears shirtless # Juan Williams the Target ## After one of their many on-air arguments, "Hannity pulled out a gun and pointed it directly at Williams...he even turned on the laser sight, causing a red dot to bob around on Williams' body" # NBC News ## Trump lied a bunch. There, I saved you five minutes ## # Anderson Cooper CNN host ## "Tonight, we know the President has no facts" ## Anderson Cooper reaches his limit with the mighty oak forehead Jeffrey Lord over Russiagate, exasperatedly snapping "OH COME ON" # # Talking Points Memo ## Republicans are being less than honest in selling Trumpcare # Angela Rye CNN commentator ## CNN political commentator says "Sean Spicer doesn't believe Sean Spicer at this point". Well, duh - that Ghostbusters remake was an atrocity # Newsweek ## And so it begins - Newsweek suggests Trump would be wise to negotiate a resignation before his presidency is fatally wounded # Abby D. Phillips National Political Reporter for The Washington Post ## White House officially downgrades its apology to "an explanation" # Joe Perticone congressional reporter, Independent Journal Review ## Reporter quits over Obama conspiracy theory story published by his employer # Don Lemon those aren't lemons ## Don Lemon summarizes Bullshiat Spice's latest word salad by comparing it to Billy Madison. Does he have a Fark handle? # Jalopnik Jezebel's diesel dyke-y sister site ## Hey, look, someone not on the Politics tab noticed how dumb the Federalist is # Jezebel Jalopnik's SJW sister site ## # Masha Gessen lesbian ## "Is Russiagate just a conspiracy theory?" If the headline ends in a question # John Oliver ## John Oliver tries to explain the Trump budget but realizes it's impossible as he doesn't speak "fluent toddler psychopath" # Financial Post English Canadian business newspaper ## Trump's budget is how the U.S. hands over leadership of 21st century technology to China. It is nothing short of superpower suicide # Forbes magazine ## Forbes Magazine says Donald Trump's net worth has dropped by $1 billion over the past year. Trump says no problem, I'll just take trips to Mar-a-Lago twice every week and start holding state dinners there # New York Observer ## For all their denunciations of 'fake news,' the Trump administration has become a leading purveyor of it, and most of that seems to come to them via Moscow # Wall Street Journal ## When the Wall Street Journal compares you to 'a drunk' clinging to 'an empty gin bottle' in a scathing editorial, your Presidency is basically over, man. Sad # Katy Tur broad on MSNBC, a five at best ## Dave Brat goes into a conspiracy theory meltdown live on the air after Katy Tur asks him a few simple questions # Associated Press ## Paul Manafort Drafted a Plan in 2005 to Influence American and European Politics for Putin's Benefit, which incidentally is how we ended up with Trump as President ### Trump: Manawho? Never heard of him # Graydon Carter Vanity Fair editor-in-chief ## # Melissa McCarthy actress, comedienne ## # CNN ## ## # Carl Bernstein ## # Hulu ## # Andrea Mitchell chief Foreign Affairs correspondent for NBC News ## # Juliette Kayyem '' author, national security analyst for CNN'' ## # Ted Koppel special contributor, CBS News Sunday Morning ## # various news outlets Conservative media ## # # Ted Koppel special contributor, CBS News Sunday Morning ## ### # 60 Minutes ## # Univision ## # American Thinker ## # Young Turks ## # NYT ## # April Ryan correspondent, American Urban Radio Networks ## ### # Palmer Report ## # Trevor Noah host of "The Daily Show" ## # Anonymous former Breitbart writer ## I Will Restore Law And Order To Our Country # Guys, it's not a Muslim ban. We know this because Trump told us. Please don't look at his own website telling us how he wants "a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States" # "Immigrant privilege drives the child rape epidemic." Oh my f*cking God Ann Coulter actually said that line. And wrote an article about it. And believes it. And...Jesus Tapdancing Christ what the fark is wrong with her # Illegal border crossings decrease by 40% in February as Mexico learns what it's like to share a border with a third-world hellhole # Ferguson vs Trump. Round 2, FIGHT # Okay folks, I want a unique angle on this Muslim Ban, doesn't matter how stupid. Um... What if we blamed it on Jimmy Carter? # Trump: "My new and improved travel ban is flawless, see you in court liberotardos" Lawyers and judges: "You are really bad at this" ## Five GOP judges supported the travel ban ## Maryland judge likes the cut of Hawaii judge's jib, and issues another ban on Trump's travel ban. So for those playing along at home: The revised ban has been banned and banned again ## "How does 'no' sound to you? What, you don't like that word? Better get used to it" # Trump's travel ban preventing certain groups from coming into US. Do those groupds groups include A: Al Queda? B: ISIS? or C: The Canadian version of the Girl Scouts? # Girl Guides of Canada ## Trump's travel ban preventing certain groups from coming into US. Do those groupds groups include A: Al Queda? B: ISIS? or C: The Canadian version of the Girl Scouts? # AG Jeff Sessions: "We have too much tolerance for marijuana use. We need to say, as Nancy Reagan said, 'Just say no.'" He then knocked back three fingers of bourbon and took a long, satisfying drag from an unfiltered Camel # President Trump wants the Mexican border wall to be higher than two double-decker buses, and have an 'aesthetically pleasing color' on the US side. Hmm, could that mean white? # New report shows immigrants commit fewer crimes than people born in the US. To be fair, some of us, I assume, are good people # John Oliver tries to explain the Trump budget but realizes it's impossible as he doesn't speak "fluent toddler psychopath" # Homeland Security publishes list of 118 terrorist occupied cities. Bombing begins in five minutes # The real impact of Trump's "enhanced vetting": No African Citizens Could Attend A Summit On African Trade, Held in California, After Visas Were Denied I Alone Can Fix It While the State exists there can be no freedom; when there is freedom there will be no State # National Park Service ## National Park Service releases hundreds of ground and arial photographs of President Trump's inauguration and yup, looks like we can expect an incoming tweet storm # CBO Congressional Budget Office ## Brookings Institute:"At least 15 million will lose their coverage under the American Health Care Act." Congressional Republicans:"We don't like your negative analysis so we'll make our own. With some spreadsheets or whatever" # # Rep. Tom O’Halleran (D AZ 1st) ## Democrats are suddenly concerned about the price of Presidential trips # Statistical Policy Directive Number 3 ## Virtually the entire White House tweets about February's job stats, minutes after the official numbers are released. This is in direct violation of Statistical Policy Directive Number 3, which prohibits Federal employees from doing so # U.S. District Court Judge William Conley ## "President Donald Trump's revised travel ban executive order suffered its first legal setback Friday as a federal judge blocked the directive's potential impact on the family of a Syrian refugee living in Wisconsin" # Senator Chris Murphy (D CT) ## Sen. Murphy says what many of us are thinking, Wikileaks timing for releasing this info on the CIA is suspiciously timed, almost as if they were trying to deflect attention from something else, but what could that be? # Preet Bharara U.S. Attorney, southern district of New York ## U.S. Attorney Bharara to President Trump: "I won't resign. I want your Keebler Elf to fire me" UPDATE: Elf obliged ### Fired U.S. Attorney for New York Preet Bharara sends out a Tweet that STRONGLY suggests that he was investigating Trump when he was fired ## There are indications that Jeff Sessions did not know his own attorneys were about to be fired ## Gov. Chris Christie victim blames all the recently fired U.S. attorneys. "They received notice that they were leaving office. That notice was given to them by the people of the country on November 8, when they elected a Republican president" ## Trump's prosecutorial purge will harm the GOP in the long run ## Just in time for your Friday news dump- US Attorney Preet Bharara was actively investigating HHS Director Tom Price when fired ## NY AG goes after Trump for the Preet-sacking # Keith Hall Chief economist, Congressional Budget Office ## GOP wants you to know that Keith Hall is a liberal hack who isn't fit to be CBO director # Rep. Adam Schiff (D CA 28th) ranking member, House Intelligence Committee ## House Intelligence Committee requests that Trump FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: over his evidence of wiretapping by Monday ## Trump defenders are starting to sound like English Lit professors at a Joyce seminar: "So now you have to decide, are you going to take the tweets literally? And if you are then clearly the president was wrong. But if you're not" ## "Circumstantial evidence" regarding collusion between Russia and Trump campaign. The seven or so Trump surrogates who had many meetings with Russians not withstanding ## House Intelligence Committee Democrat Adam Schiff calls for independent investigation after Chairperson Devin Nunes decides to throw protocol out the window and brief the President that shiat is hitting the fan faster than anyone expected *DUN DUN* ## # Rep. Elijah Cummings (D MD 7th) ## Elijah Cummings says there might be a connection between Bharara's firing and the ongoing Trump investigation. Time to bust out the "well duh" images # California and Section 177 under the Clean Air Act ## Trump's EPA looking to kill the law that led to unleaded gasoline and catalytic converters ### Hey, look, someone not on the Politics tab noticed how dumb the Federalist is # Congressional Budget Office ## CBO will release their score for Trumpcare at 4 PM, to be followed by Presidential toilet rant on twitter at 5 AM ### CBO estimates 14 million people losing health insurance if American Health Act is passed ### CBO projects iPhone sales to drop by 14M in 2018, accelerate to over 24 million by 2026 ### Newt licks himself some Trump butt. Mmm, that's good Trump butt ### If you hated Obamacare because your premiums went up too much, just wait until you try the new and improved 750% hike in Trumpcare # Eric Schneiderman New York Attorney General ## Rex Tillerson may not be a firm believer in Climate Change, but his intra-company alias Wayne Tracker believed that it was about to get hot enough to pop popcorn on the sidewalk ## NY AG goes after Trump for the Preet-sacking # # Democrats ## Sad but true, the Democrats have become the new party of no # Beyond outright incompetence - Donald Trump has a plan? CNN thinks so. Maybe it is stored right next to his Healthcare plan, China plan, and Defeat ISIS plan # NOAA National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration ## Trump tweets snowstorm warning from the agency whose budget he's planning to slash # Executive Branch Reorganization ## Trump signs executive order asking every department "just what do they do around here?" # Department of Justice ## Donald Trump just became Hillary Clinton's email ally # The Fed the Federal Reserve ## Political control over the Fed is inevitable. Which means the inflationary spiral that the Fed was put in place to prevent is also inevitable # Judge Derrick K. Watson U.S. District Court, Honolulu ## Barring a court ruling, travel ban takes effect at midnight. This IS a repeat ### Federal judge to Trump: What part of "you can't have a Muslim travel ban" did you not understand the first time around, dumbass? # Republicans should just blow up the entire healthcare system. Wait, I thought they were already doing that ## ## # Department of Homeland Security ## Internal Trump administration data undercuts travel ban. Or, in other words, the Emperor has no clothes # FBI Federal Bureau of Investigation ## Internal Trump administration data undercuts travel ban. Or, in other words, the Emperor has no clothes ## "FBI investigation...could hamper [Trump's political agenda for months, if not years, to come." HA. Years?] ## The FBI Russia probe will also investigate the Western wing of Russia's propaganda machine, Breitbart and Infowars ## So, it turns out the FBI really DID have a wiretap at Trump Tower to spy on Russians, but it was from 2011-2013, and its target was the Russian mobsters running a massive money laundering operation out of their apartment there ### Whether it's residents in his Trump-branded buildings, or his business associates or investors in his projects, Trump is tied up with not just Russians, but in many cases Russians tied to the criminal underworld and money laundering ## The internet is forever, and things you post can come back to haunt you later. Isn't that right, Mrs. Kellyanne "Ha, ha, you're being investigated by the FBI" Conway? ## "The FBI probe into Trump and Russia is huge news. Our political system isn't ready for it" # Just how, exactly, does an FBI counterintelligence investigation into a sitting President and his cronies work? I'm glad you asked # ## ## ## # Secret Service ## They'll be no shortage of Donald Trumps in the coming decades. Secret service in trouble for taking selfies with 8 year-old Donald Trump III. Trump III says Obama caused him to poopie his pants. They grow up so fast # Judges ## Michelle Malkin says judges are tyrants for not allowing constitutionally dubious travel ban to go through. Good thing Malkin doesn't have a murky immigrant background which might include her parents immigrating on employer sponsored visas # Internal Trump administration data ## Internal Trump administration data undercuts travel ban. Or, in other words, the Emperor has no clothes # National Institutes of Health conducted study in link ## Since the White House argued that Meals on Wheels is going to be cut because it has not shown any results, I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear that there is actual research that proves otherwise # Brown School of Public Health conducted study in link ## Since the White House argued that Meals on Wheels is going to be cut because it has not shown any results, I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear that there is actual research that proves otherwise # Liam Hogan research librarian, Limerick City Library ## This does classify as 'old news' but it is something you might want to have available to share on social media with your racist uncle since every White person in America is Irish today # Mayor Mitch Landrieu (D, New Orleans) ## Mayor says Trump's budget would be 'devastating' to New Orleans, and that city knows a thing or two about devastation # IRS Internal Revenue Service ## The IRS granted 'After School Satan Club' tax-exempt status in 10 days, while non-profit conservative groups had to wait years (and some are still waiting) # Richard Ledgett Deputy Director of No Such Agency ## Deputy Director of the NSA calls Trump's UK spying allegations "just crazy", "arrant nonsense". Then insinuates Trump is ignorant and stupid. Why yes, he is retiring shortly # Senate Intelligence Committee ## Trump allies Roger Stone and Paul Manafort both wanted for questioning in Russia investigations ## Pro tip: Wait until the hearing is over before you mischaracterize someone's congressional testimony, Mr. President, or you run the risk of being corrected in real-time ## ## ## ## ## ## # Senator Russ Feingold (D WI) ## If Neil Gorsuch isn't a legitimate SCOTUS judge, then I understand the Senate has ways of shutting that down # House Intelligence Committee ## Will Comey reveal that Trump is a puppet? Will the pee tape come to light? Will Trump demand Comey's head after the hearing? THIS is your House Intelligence Committee Hearing on Russia-gate thread (hearing starts at 10 AM EDT on C-SPAN) ### Comey confirms the FBI is investigating Trump team for Russia connections they can sweep under the rug #### Pro tip: Wait until the hearing is over before you mischaracterize someone's congressional testimony, Mr. President, or you run the risk of being corrected in real-time ### Pretty much, the only way today could have gone worse for Trump is if PornHub added a "presidential watersports" category to their search engine or Melania was revealed as a victim of "the Fappening 2.0" ### White House continues to defend wiretapping claim despite today's contrary statements from "so-called FBI Director" Comey # Attorney General Maura Healey (D MA)' ## Massachusetts AG tells Exxon to preserve their emails, especially from the alias of Secretary of State Tillerson, in case they need to try the alias for misleading the public about climate change # the City of New York ## According to New York City law, Trump's Northern White House is illegal and subject to a fine and loss of privileges. So sad # Senator Chuck Schumer (D NY) ## # Justice Barry Ostrager New York State Supreme Court, Manhattan ## # Rep. Mike Quigley (D IL 5th) ## # Treasury Department ## # Army Gen. Curtis Scaparrotti Supreme Allied Commander Europe (SACEUR) of NATO Allied Command Operations, commander of the United States European Command ## # House Freedom Caucus ## # House Oversight Committee specifically chairman Chaffetz and ranking member Cummings ## # Congress ## # Rep. Ted Lieu (D CA 33rd) ## # Senator Tom Udall (D NM) introduced MAR-A-LAGO Act ## # 'Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D RI) ''introduced MAR-A-LAGO Act ## # 'Senator Tom Carper (D DE) ''introduced MAR-A-LAGO Act ## # 'Senator Jack Reed (D RI) ''introduced MAR-A-LAGO Act ## ## # 'Rep. Mike Quigley (D IL 5th) ''introduced MAR-A-LAGO Act ## # '''Sally Yates former acting Attorney General ## ### # Rep. Eric Swalwell (D CA 15th) # # GAO Government Accountability Office # ## # Senator Mark Warner (D VA) ## # Senator Richard Blumenthal (D CT) ## We May Have To Get You A Larger Room # It's Monday, so you know what that means: Trump's own agencies have told him that he's wrong about his weekend conspiracy rant, but he doesn't care and still believes his own derp # FBI continues investigating the "odd" cyber link between a Russian bank and Trump's corporate holdings # FBI and NSA called to testify on Trump-Russia investigation. CIA was going to be called, but thanks to Wikileaks, Congress already knows what CIA was going to say anyway I Want To Use Hairspray # Flint residents must start paying for water they still can't drink without a filter, because fark you, that's why # NOAA to be gutted under Trump. Because who needs accurate weather forecasts, hurricane warnings, and current information on lightning strikes # EPA Office of Science and Technology Policy deletes "science" from its science mission statement, replaces it with "technologically achievable" # EPA chief Scott Pruitt says carbon dioxide is not a primary contributor to global warming. That is all # Science. Huh. Good God, y'all. What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'. Love, Scott Pruitt # Rex Tillerson may not be a firm believer in Climate Change, but his intra-company alias Wayne Tracker believed that it was about to get hot enough to pop popcorn on the sidewalk # Trump tweets snowstorm warning from the agency whose budget he's planning to slash # EPA head: Meh, what's a little chemical spill between friends? # Trump's budget cuts all funding for climate change research. Every. Last. Penny # Liam Hogan research librarian, Limerick City Library ## This does classify as 'old news' but it is something you might want to have available to share on social media with your racist uncle since every White person in America is Irish today # It appears that someone is blowing smoke up the White House's arse with some crazy theory about smog # Stephen Hawking ## Donald Trump's abhorrent science denial finally rouses Stephen Hawking's fury. Crush him in the claws of your giant mecha-suit, Stephen, crush him # Neil deGrasse Tyson Black Science Man ## Neil deGrasse Tyson: Trump's Budget Will Make America Weak, Sick & Stupid. Obvious tag is really getting a workout this morning # The age of open government is ending # Doctors ## Evil godless medicine devils want you to believe that taking Christ out of the genetic amniocentesis results might not be in the best interests of women's health # Jay Faison North Carolina businessman ## We Will Reform The U.S. Education System # The Sentencing Project ## New report shows immigrants commit fewer crimes than people born in the US. To be fair, some of us, I assume, are good people # Cato Institute ## New report shows immigrants commit fewer crimes than people born in the US. To be fair, some of us, I assume, are good people # The age of open government is ending When Someone Crosses You, My Advice Is ‘Get even!’ # Fark Politics tab explained: "social media...means that the satire never has to end, that you can always jack right back in, and there's always another person to tell you that those conservative rubes are uncool and unfunny" # Newly declassified documents show that it's not just fake news, it's the CIA's news # Alex Oronov ## Who is Alex Oronov? And why, like so many others on the Trump-Putin boundary, is he suddenly dead? # David Bossie former Trump Deputy Campaign Manager ## Everyone in the Trump campaign was rewarded with appointments they were unqualified for--except for Deputy Campaign Manager David Bossie, who was left in the cold. Probably because he never talked to Russia # Senator Tom Cotton (R AR) ## Even Sen. "Tehran Tom" Cotton isn't willing to hop aboard Trump's latest crazy Train ## "Tehran Tom" Cotton wants a do-over on Trumpcare # Heritage Foundation ## Heritage Foundation throws down the gauntlet on GOP's joke of an ACA replacement # Senator Ben Sasse (R NE) ## "Meh, he's a crazy asshole. What did you expect? Don't look at us, you voted for the guy." - The GOP Leadership # Rep. Devin Nunes (R CA 22nd) House Intelligence Committee Chairman ## Mr. President, about those wiretapp allegations? Yeah....well we're sorry sir, but this time you're on your own ## House Intelligence Committee requests that Trump FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: over his evidence of wiretapping by Monday ### House Intelligence Committee set today as the deadline for Trump to provide evidence he was the victim of an Obama "wiretapp." Will Trump follow through? What will happen if he fails to provide the evidence? Either way, things will get crazy today ## Trump defenders are starting to sound like English Lit professors at a Joyce seminar: "So now you have to decide, are you going to take the tweets literally? And if you are then clearly the president was wrong. But if you're not" ## Get to know Intelligence Committee Chair Devin Nunes, a former dairy farmer in charge of US spies and intel # # # # Senator Richard Burr (R NC) Senate Intelligence Committee Chair ## Mr. President, about those wiretapp allegations? Yeah....well we're sorry sir, but this time you're on your own # National Review ### The Uber-conservative National Review "If you want to see political malpractice in action, you don't have to read Donald Trump's latest tweet - just look at the mess Republicans have made of replacing Obamacare" ## Man: "I've yet to read anything positive about this healthcare bill". Woman: "Try going 2 a conservative source and open up your reading habits". Man: "I'm the editor of National Review Online" ## Baptists should support Muslims' rights to build mosques, according to liberal snowflake media wing of the Democratic Party, the National Review # Rep. Rod Blum (R IA 1st) ## President Trump's stellar negotiation tactics have caused three wavering Republican lawmakers to firm up their stance on the ACA repeal-and-replace bill: they came out against it # Rep. Ted Budd (R NC 13th) ## President Trump's stellar negotiation tactics have caused three wavering Republican lawmakers to firm up their stance on the ACA repeal-and-replace bill: they came out against it # Rep. Leonard Lance (R NJ 7th) ## President Trump's stellar negotiation tactics have caused three wavering Republican lawmakers to firm up their stance on the ACA repeal-and-replace bill: they came out against it # Bloomberg News ## Pay no attention to the trade surplus the U.S. had with China in February # Mick Mulvaney Director of the Office of Management & Budget'' ## President Trump (R) in January:"There will be health insurance for everybody. Much less expensive than Obamacare and much better." White House Budget Director Mulvaney (R) in March:"Insurance for ordinary people is not really the end goal" # '''Breitbart "News"' ## Breitbart, Steve Bannon's own personal public relations arm, thinks the GOP's ACA replacement is terrible # Governor Charlie Baker (R MA) ## Governor sees Trump's attempt to f*ck over Planned Parenthood and promises to keep funding them even if the Feds pull out, no strings attached. Oh, and the governor is a Republican # FOX ## Fox News slams GOP health care reform plan. Yes, THAT Fox News # James Rosen reporter for FOX News ## Spicer: "Obama tapped a Fox reporter's phone." Fox reporter: "No, he didn't" Spicer lackey: "There are multiple reports that Obama tapped a Fox reporter's phone" # Senator RANDPAUL (R KY) ## Rand Paul introduces simple bill to full repeal Obamacare titled "Popcorn Dot Gif Act of 2017" # Rep. Pete Sessions (R TX 32nd) ## Trumpy Spice: "Every member of the House and Senate will be able to have their opportunity to have amendments (on TrumpCare) offered through the committee process and on the floor," GOP Leadership: The Hell you say # Walter Shaub Director, Office of Government Ethics ## White House: Ethics laws do not apply to the executive branch. U.S. Ethics official: Um, yes they do, dumb asses # Rep. Paul Ryan (R WI 1st) ## Paul Ryan; "Trump will never win a beauty contest." Wait, what? Oh, Trumpcare will never win a beauty contest. Coulda went either way ## Breitbart begins sharpening some very long knives ### Microwave catches Paul Ryan throwing Trump under the bus ## Paul Ryan would like to remind all Americans that Trump had his tiny hands all over the crafting of the GOP's healthcare legislation ## It's official: Obama did not tap that Ass ## # ## # Senator John McCain (R AZ) ## John McCain predicts there are "more shoes to drop" over Russiaghazi # Breitbart "News" ## Even Breitbart thinks that Tom Price's comments that "everyone will be covered" under Trumpscare was the lie of the year # Fox & Friends ## John Oliver really, really hates Trumpcare and everything the GOP is trying to do with the ACA, so he is again trying to reach Trump by purchasing airtime on Fox & Friends and airing another commercial targeting the DC audience # Rev. Russell Moore President of the Southern Baptist Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission ## Prominent evangelical pastor with an actual moral compass is opposed to Trump and the preachers who worship him, so naturally he's about to get kicked out of his leadership postion # Morning Joe Scarborough ## Trump unfollows his Morning Joe besties who helped get him elected. Sad # Mika Brzezinski ## Trump unfollows his Morning Joe besties who helped get him elected. Sad ## "Morning Joe" host Mika Brzezinski looks into camera and says directly to Trump: "It's a very serious allegation. And it questions everything that you're about. And it questions whether we can ever believe you, and whether Americans can believe you" # Morning Joe TV show ## # Shepard Smith FOX "News" anchor ## Shepard Smith says it's "stunning" that after years of Republicans being united on fighting Obamacare, they can't agree on a replacement ## # Senator Lindsey Graham (R SC) ## Lindsey Graham vows to "find out all things Russian" and has put Trump right in his crosshairs # James Comey Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation': ## James Comey to officially reveal if FBI is investigating Trump's ties to Russia during presidential election ## And today Comey throws Trump under the bus ## Will Comey reveal that Trump is a puppet? Will the pee tape come to light? Will Trump demand Comey's head after the hearing? THIS is your House Intelligence Committee Hearing on Russia-gate thread (hearing starts at 10 AM EDT on C-SPAN) ### Comey confirms the FBI is investigating Trump team for Russia connections they can sweep under the rug ### James Comey answers the least suspenseful question in recorded history #### Pro tip: Wait until the hearing is over before you mischaracterize someone's congressional testimony, Mr. President, or you run the risk of being corrected in real-time ### Pretty much, the only way today could have gone worse for Trump is if PornHub added a "presidential watersports" category to their search engine or Melania was revealed as a victim of "the Fappening 2.0" ### White House continues to defend wiretapping claim despite today's contrary statements from "so-called FBI Director" Comey ### Former Nixon White House Counsel John Dean: The actions of the Trump White House in response to the Russia story seem AWFULLY familiar to me...wait, don't tell me, it'll come to me any second ## # James Mattis Secretary of Defense ## Trump's Secretary of a good offense: Climate change is real. It's happening now and we need to take it seriously. Trump's future reply: Well kiss my grits # Nikki Haley UN Ambassador ## Nikki Haley speaks out, saying that we shouldn't trust anyone involved in helping elect Trump # Tucker Carlson host of parasitic sentient-bowtie ## Trump leaked classified CIA intel to Tucker Carlson on live TV: ranking House intel member ## Trump's response when Fox News' Tucker Carlson confronts him on the devastating impact repealing Obamacare will have on those who voted for him: "Oh, I know" # former Rep. David Jolly (R FL 13th) ## So we've ALL been thinking it, but credit goes to former Rep. David Jolly (R-FL) for being the first to come out and say it publicly: President Donald Trump isn't "intellectually qualified" to be president # Rex Tillerson Secretary of State # In extremely polite Diplo-speak, China, through its state-run Media is basically saying they made Secretary of State Tillerson and the US their biatches during his visit this weekend # # Tomi Lahren former potential FOX spokesmodel ## Tomi Lahren suspended from Glenn Beck's media empire for moment of clarity # Bill O'Reilly ## Straight-faced, Bill O'Reilly sheepishly admits Trump "would be wise to embrace only facts from now on" # Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli Italian business philosopher ## Was Machiavelli actually not very Machiavellian? #'some guy named Paul Manafort' ## # Richard Painter senior ethics lawyer, George W. Bush ## # the Republican Party ## ## ### # Freedom Caucus ## ### ## ## # Michael Flynn former National Secutity Advisor ## ## # Jeb Bush ## # Rep. Mark Meadows (R NC 11th) # # # Robert Murray founder, CEO of Murray Energy ## # Darth Cheney former "Vice" Leader of the Dark Side ## # Senator Lindsay Graham (R SC) ## # Trump Supporters ## # Vnesheconombank Russian bank ## # Evan McMullin former CIA operations officer, 2016 GOP Presidential candidate ## # Ezra Cohen-Watnick Senior Director for Intelligence Programs at National Security Council; brought to the White House by Michael T. Flynn ## # Michael Ellis Deputy National Security Council Legal Advisor; former counsel for House Intelligence Committee ## # Patriotic Millionaires group of wealthy Utahans ## # Sean Hannity just another good head of hair like the rest of them ## No Puppet! No Puppet! You're The Puppet! # Blaming the Klan on modern Democrats is like blaming the Unabomber on the Montana Territory, which I do so nyeh # "Liberals, much like Hitler, are under demonic control" # Obama is "engaging with domestic terrorists" to take down Trump. Wait, domestic terrorists typically support Trump # The more President Trump wins, the more the Dems and anti-Trump conservatives flail their arms in disgust # The left about to eat their own. Honest, reasonable Democrats have no place in their party anymore # Something is straining the relationship between President Trump and President Obama. They used to be BFFs; I'm not sure what happened # LA Times says that while Al Gore had an inconvenient truth, Donald Trump has inconvenient realities See Also * Drumpfster Fire * I Love The Poorly Educated * Drumpfster Fire Daily Chaos * The World Outside the U.S. Post-Drumpf * 115th Congressional Dumpster Fire * Defying GOP's Wet Dream of One Party Rule of U.S. Government